I fondly remember when he was 4 or so, and we were so close: best buddies. I could do no wrong in his eyes and I could not feel more loved nor adored by anyone (and probably never will again). I remember taking him to see Winnie the Pooh movie, taking him to Pasta Pomodoro and teaching him tic-tac-toe. His play was so non violent compared to James at the same age (James seems obsessed with shooting and super heroes and bad guys, even though I discourage it). And Kian was (and is still) so sweet and caring, and always so sincere.
This is the first day I ever looked back and pined for who my kids were in they past. Previously, I've always been so grateful they are who they are right now, and this "now" has always been better. But right now, I don't feel as close to Kian as I have in the past. He's growing up and looks to his Dad more. And I don't think he is always honest with me. I think he tells me what he thinks i want to hear, a bit. If he was really having trouble socially or with friends, I an not sure he'd tell me.
I'm sure this won't be the first time I'll feel this. My kids are growing up. I'n almost half through with Kian. I already miss him, even as I love and adore the wonderful boy he is becoming.