Product Management & Product Marketing Haiku

Inspired by the fine folks at Pivotal Product Management, here are some enthralling and inspirational haiku I whipped together.

Only bad PMs
Don't install or even use
The products they own.

Their go-to excuse:
"Technically impossible,"
The Devs always say.

Top-down, bottom-up...
How to do product planning?
We always debate.

Supported products.
An integration nightmare.
Zillions of versions.

Upgrade now or else
We'll de-support the release
Your business uses.

Sales rep always blames
Lost deals on missing features.
Wins are due to him.

Short beta programs:
For publicity only,
Not for finding bugs.

Trade shows are useless
Tools for generating leads.
They just want free pens.

Product Marketing:
They tell product lies all day
But they don't know it.

Darling customer,
We shipped you junk. I'm sorry.
Please abuse me now.