How to Grovel Like the Best of Them

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There's a book, called "On Apology" by Aaron Lazare. He's a guy who actually got a PhD in this stuff. Anyway, he lays out the steps for a proper apology:

  1. Acknowledge your offense. Take responsibility.

  2. Explain your actions.

  3. Express remorse and regret, not that you're sorry it ended up wrong, but that you're actually sorry you DID what you did.

  4. Offer some sort of reparation (in other words, Just Make It Right).

Don't include the words "if" or "but" at any point because those are weasel words. Also, look in the eye. Not at Shoes -- not even if it's their shoes.